Washington- Recent studies have found that low levels of serotonin in the brains of monkeys could be responsible for the cycle of child abuse. Then again, it could also be due to the fact that they are dirty fucking monkeys.
The study shows that baby monkeys that are hit, thrown, pile-drived, and especially sodomized with carrot bits by their mothers, have shown a surprisingly lower level of serotonin in the brain. This low level increases the likelihood that the babies will grow up to be greasy perverts, as well.
“It started off as funny,” said behavioral scientist and avid myspacer Pierre Dykes. “But when one of the mothers started sticking things in orifices, filming was halted, the music was shut off, and we felt we had to address the cause of the problem.”
Researchers believe the results of such studies are sure to have implications to humans, as both species have legs, arms, a brain, and play with their own genitals. Shortly after the study, all 36 of the monkeys were destroyed with ice picks.
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