Nairobi- The world’s carbon emissions are turning the oceans more acidic, which could harm sea life, experts reported on Tuesday. Marine organisms are expected to change drastically from the effects of the high levels of acid.
“The fish are freaking out,” says marine biologist J.J. Buckhalter. “You just can’t expect to give animals high doses of hallucinogens and expect things to be just fine. I mean, most of these fish haven’t even experimented with pot, much less LSD!”
With high doses of acid in the water, scientists have witnessed many different species of fish and sea life exhibiting fear, panic, jaw grinding, and some that “just can’t stop smiling.” However, with drug use running rampant among the sea floor, experts project to see many of the problems witnessed on land, down below.
“Sure, you can expect a fair amount of murders, rapes, assaults, and prostitution in the ocean within the next couple of years,” says scientist and closet homosexual Danny Bailey. “But that has the scientific community ecstatic. I mean, it sucks, sure, but you have no idea how monotonous it gets watching goddamn tuna migrate every year. I bet there gonna be ‘a wigglin’ all over the place, now!”
No comments:
Post a Comment