Stolkholm- The Swedes have conducted a study that ties pancreatic cancer to the amounts of sugar in people’s diets. The study was conducted on dozens of Swedes over several months, prompting the silly blue eyed blondes into shit fits.
“Ahhh, ve must stop eating sugar!,” said Swede ‘scientist’ and male housewife Rolf Turnquist. “Ve vill ruin our pancreas, Yah.”
The ‘findings’ showed those who consume extremely high amounts of sugar, are slightly more likely to develop the extremely rare form of cancer. The ‘study’ showed that high sugar users were .0002% more likely to develop the cancer.
Upon the release of the ‘study,’ hundreds of millions of Swedes were shown panicking in the streets of Stolkholm. Many of the Swedes were shown rioting, in orderly fashion, throwing meatballs at each other and blasting Ace of Base and ABBA songs at a slightly uncomfortable volume.
The distress came to a halt slightly after it started, as IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad, came to the rescue by offering the Swedish citizens refunds on all the worthless furniture they had purchased.
Shrieks turned to squeals of delight and, knowing Swedes, they will forget all about the sugar scare that shook Stolkholm.
Calls to the chef from ‘The Muppets’ were not returned.
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