Animal Cloning No Longer Just For Sex, Sacrifice

Washington- In a shocking decision, the FDA has decided that food from cloned animals is safe to eat and requires no special labeling. This has consumer groups horrified, as they are uncomfortable with the idea of eating the cloned.

“Labeling provides us with the information that helps us make healthy decisions,” says vegan and fucking pussy Lance Gruger. “I have a right to know that what I am eating isn’t made from disgusting humans, and isn’t harming our furry friends.”

But while human hating activists are worried about ingesting the ‘unnatural,’ the FDA says complete disclosure is just as dangerous.

“Christ, if we have to label everything that actually goes into food, our country would likely die from starvation,” says FDA representative Mack Benton. “So, let me get this straight. Instead of hot dogs on the label- you want to see cloned rectum tidbits, penis shavings, toenail cheese, and testicular vein chowder? Great idea, you want a side of diarrhea with that?”

Restricted labeling could indeed mislead the consumer, but experts believe it would be far better than “gettin’ the willies” before eating.