New Orleans- In what can only be described as a complete embarrassment, Notre Dame was manhandled by LSU on Wednesday night, 41-14. And with a torso that looked to be at full capacity, Charlie Weis was able to gobble down the last of his words from the 2006 season. Needless to say, the plate was sent back clean.“Hell, we thought he was all filled up,” said Notre Dame athletic director Kevin White. “But that Charlie is a competitor. He’s found a way to force feed himself more empty promises. And they’re the kind that really ends up sticking to your ribs.”
Weis began frantically munching down phrases like “there’s no question, we’re ready to play” and “hey, we’re pretty fast too,” as LSU took a 14-0 lead in the first 5 minutes of the game. But then in the 2nd half, the ND coach started on the entrée and stuffed his face with “we won’t be giving up big plays” followed by a course of “we’re doing a bunch of things different this year than we did last year.”
And just when we all thought the gorging was done, Charlie was somehow able to choke down “I think Notre Dame football fans will be very happy when the results are in.”
Irish fans everywhere are concerned about the future of Notre Dame football, and the health of their Super Bowl winning coach. “He’s got to be pushing five bills,” said disheartened fan Burt Sanchez. “If he eats any more of his words, he could burst. But then again, when the words you are eating are so hollow, we shouldn't be too concerned.”
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